Two of my very favorite people from back in my horrorizing days – the Den of Iniquity days, the “movie-disc-movie” days – are launching a phenomenal-looking new project with the best Kickstarter campaign you’ve ever seen. Why is this Kickstarter campaign so special, you may ask?
Back in 2003 Axel and I attempted to get our comic strip off the ground. Unfortunately, our artist was leaving for university and would no longer have the time to continue to draw out our crazy comics. As they haven't posted to Eye Crave Network I figured it was time to drag out the nearly 10-year old comics for all too see.
This Guy Reviews: SADcalibur Soul Calibur V
Hello my Sadcalibur fighters… and welcome back to the staaage of history. (in which I am wishin this version stays buried in)
I love the Soul Calibur series. I have been playing it since the Dreamcast and it is one of those series I can’t wait to get a new release of…. as you can see by my totally bias review of Soul Calibur IV. Stright up…. If your planning on getting this for customization stop reading this and get the 4th one…. Theres nothing for you here.
Lets start off with the roster shall we? A bunch of fighters have been replaced with people that are essentially them but skinned differently. A Takiless Soul Calibur game is now know as Sad Calibur. *sheds a tear*. So with Taki out Natsu is in… uses the exact same style and basically the same default gear. Hey remember when Kilik used a staff? I do to… yea once unlocked he uses any male style at random… so where is the staff user you ask? Xiba is the man your looking for… or not so much a man but an annoying kid who talks about being hungry alllllllll the time. Sophitia ? gone. But! replaced with her kids Patroklos and Pyrrah… who in their regular forms fight just like her or Cassandra from IV oh yes regular forms there is also the SAME 2 fighters in an Alpha and Omega forms. I didnt notice a difference in the move set for Pyrrah in regular or omega mode (but shes less annoying in Omega for sure) Patroklos has a different move set when in alpha mode… which really makes him no more fun to use. Viola is my fave new addition. She fights with an orb she controls and a claw… sounds and looks a LOT like Amy who is not in this one… the sadness. Z.W.E.I who attacks with a sword and a wolfish kinda summons...I will call him Mr. Wolf face. NO TALIM! Not even a replacement? They removed some of the best fighters in the series for useless new ones and alt versions of the same fighters.I am done talking about the roster cept saying Assassins Creed Ezio is the guest fighter in this version…. But common you knew that already. (Hes pretty freakin awesome too) oh and Raphael looks like Vampire hunter D.
Game play modes you ask? Well kiddies lemme tell ya about the game modes. Offline modes include… Arcade… Quick Battle VS and Training. Legendary Souls (get your face kicked in mode) is unlocked after playing through the last and least entertaining single player mode (story) and pins you against higher lvl pc controlled fighters… Story mode 1607 A.D. which follows Patroklos and Pyrrah and randomly you get to use a different person… but that person would be Z.W.E.I…. great. Then there is multiplayer online. Choose from ranked or player matches. Thats it tho. So remember when you could pick a fighter and have their own story unfold? Well they took that out also. Because apparently the only people that has a story are Pat and Pyrrah… LAME.
Character Customization……. Sigh. The last 2 Soul Caliburs had pretty decent customization options… IV was great. In IV you could change the look of a fighter use items to boost attack and defence… weather you wanted to hurt them bad by boostin attack power or crush their soul gauge… you could give yerself a challenge by making a person have not even one life bar but hit like a ton of bricks…. NOT the case in Sadcalibur. Customization is limited to looks only. Great! I got a collectors edition for a pretty case and DLC that does nothing but make my person look different… So there is no way to make you stronger not at all… so really all that stuff you get to unlock by going up levels is pointless so you really should save yourself the time and just use stock fighters.
Ok so now general play is at its best when fighting a friend right beside you. This is where I actually had fun playing Sadcalibur. They took out critical finishes from IV and added a Street fighter styled meter that fills and you can unleash flashy fancy neato attacks…. I did find the play slower then IV in general… They removed the ability to Parry attacks… this is stupid… there was multiple ways to defend in IV push them forward, block, or make em fall… now defence feels limited.
I am going to wrap this up because there is a great deal that I didnt like in this game.
Yes its pretty and the music is great the sound effects are top notch but removing the deep customization options was a horrible thing to do. I thought we were going to see tag battles in this version… I liked the tower of souls how you could take 2-3 fighters and tag in and out when wanted. NOPE REMOVED. Mortal Kombat has amazing tag modes and when I saw that I figured Sadcalibur was going to adapt something like it…but make it better as that’s how they were leaning in IV. Removing Fan faves from a game is not a good idea removing great features that made the series stand out… not a good idea. Making customization pointless… yea also not a good idea. All of this and announced DLC before the games even out? If I didn’t buy this already I would have passed on it for sure. I would have been happy playing IV with my friends trying out different builds that we spent a lot of time making. If your hardcore SC fan then pick it up cause you prolly already did… If your not… get the I pad version of Soul Calibur 1 or Wait till this one is 10 bux.. It wont be that long of a wait.
Stay excellent.
Disclaimer: Eye Crave Network takes no responsibility for the quality, content or opinions contained within this article. The opinions and misguided notions contained are those of the author and do not represent anyone but "THIS GUY"...
This Guy reviews: Resistance 3… sigh.
Right so before I start this review I must say…. I have been spoiled by awesome high-end DX11/high rez pc gaming for some time now….(got a new tower) So going from Crysis 2 BF3 and Skyrim to this game was pretty shocking to my oculars and left my preped drool cup dry.…. K lets get this review DONE!
Yes this review has been delayed…. Id say sorry but I really thought this game was a chore to get through and besides that theres… Skyrim… so… so good. But enough about that…Lets get on to Chimera slaying shall we. Well where do I start off…. The story is told from the part of a lone Hugh Jackman Joseph Capelli and instead of focus being the fight against the baddies the story take a different direction… Humanity has pretty much been defeated… pockets of resistance (heh get it? cause it’s the name of the game?... whatever I hate you guys >.>) remain to stand for the last days of mankind. Moving on.
I had much Resistance to playing…. Resistance (oh yea it happened again) I found the visuals low rez… again this may be part of me playing Dx11 and other pretty games on my PC then moving back to the PS3 but I didnt even find the shiny that was in the second instalment of the series. I found the colours washed out… lots of dark browns light browns some beiges a grey or 2 and nothing really popped out at all. The only time there was a change was when the snow stages hit… and then it was metallic and white tossed in with the other colours above. I Found the lip syncing was very much off ( I was told that it may have been just my setup but still this is MY review dammit and it was off for me so HAH!)
Charters in resistance 3 are instantly forgettable… there was effort to make you feel something for the main dood and his wife but yea… I don’t care I don’t even care enough to scroll back up to remember guys name… John? Jacob? OH Joseph!… there we go. To tell you the truth I feel worse about me having to try to remember the dam guys name then about him being away from his wife and kid…. NEXT.
One thing they did do right this time around was the co-op for me anyway it made this game bearable to play. They brought back the split screen jump in jump out method which is like the first one…. Not the job based horrible load of warm vomit that was the second incantations co-op. So the co-op was fun but still games like F.E.A.R 3 have it beat in that department…. Sorry Resistance 3 you fell flat for me. I know people who loved this game and hey whatever floats yer paddle boat ladies and gents but for me id rather sink it and face my F.E.A.R3 and swim back to Skyrim through a Battlefield3 of chimera then take a second run at this game solo. As for multiplayer I didn’t play it… I didn’t care enough about the game to even try… Sorry Fanboiiiisss but other then delivery on the story and a fun romp thru co-op this game fell way short of the mark.
This guy passes on Resistance 3
Stay excellent.
Disclaimer: Eye Crave Network takes no responsibility for the quality, content or opinions contained within this article. The opinions and misguided notions contained are those of the author and do not represent anyone but "THIS GUY"...
Yesssirrreeeeee Bob! Did I ever get a happy surprise and a blast from the past in the mailbox today. A beautiful new Blu-ray copy of my all-time favorite 90′s video naughty, Frankenhooker! Courtesy of the fine folks at Synapse Films.
Coming to Blu next month, this Frank Henenlotter classic of the VHS era is one of my most beloved teen memories. Round about 1991, when I was at the height of my love for Z-grade horror, every corner video shack and cut-rate retailer of trashy magazines had the big ol’ VHS box , wrinkled and crinkled and abused, with the worn spot on the streetlamp, where the little button was hidden. Hundreds of greasy teen-hormone dripping fingers had eroded the “press here” sticker that made the box screech out “WANNA DATE? WANNA DATE?”. Even better was the Video Station that had it in the backlog titles where I could rent it every few weeks, along with 5 other flicks for a week. A week, for $5. Hot damn, but those were the days… Sleazy, lurid nudie horror trash like Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Return of the Living Dead, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-rama, Deadmate, Re-Animator and anything with the Troma label gracing its cover. Those movies led directly to my friends and I taking over the High School broadcasting class, hijacking the VHS equipment and filming our own blood-drenched sagas, like Zombies Zombies Zombies, Killer Ed and Slash13 (You can see the trailers I reconstituted for our informal ‘reunion’ a couple of years ago, right here) It also led me to pine for Film School, while slogging my way through the Education, Psychology and English departments of the U of C. It haunted me with the painful echoes of regret through a myriad of awful management ‘careers’, menial jobs, and ill-advised ventures. It dogged my steps and whispered in my ears until I fell back in love with DVD and the illicit, forbidden-candy wonderousness of Z-movie making in the new millenium.
None of these films ever influenced me more than the tale of Jeffrey Franken and his unfortunate fiancee, Elizabeth (the gorgeous and comedically brilliant Patty Mullen, in the worst excuse for a fat suit ever put on film – seriously – it’s a 90′s sweatsuit with some trashbags stuffed in the front of the pants). Frank works for the New Jersey power company, but dabbles in “bioelectric engineering” in his spare time, which means he’s an all-around mad scientist who fuses eyeballs to pickled brains and battles fatigue by jamming a Black & Decker power drill into the soft spot behind his ear. Long story short, Frank designs an automated mega-mower for his soon-to-be Pops-in-law, which Lizzy (of course) accidently fires up and turns herself into coleslaw. Frank has her head preserved in the strange purple goo in his freezer and soon sets about building her a new body from New York’s most physically perfect streetwalkers. Perfect, as in he puts them all in a room and measure them with calipers and tapes. What follows is a smorgasboard of cartoony violemnce, exploding hookers, super-crack, and the greatest Frankensteiner monster of all, a 6 foot tall wonder woman with a club foot and a facial twitch that would put Curly Howard to shame. To paraphrase the mighty Joe Bob Briggs, blood, breasts and beasts are in full effect.
Really, what else would you expect from the man who brought us grindhouse classics like the Basket Case flicks and Brain Damage, the best boy-and-his-giant-hallucinogenic-alien-penis story ever told? Henenlotter brings his trademark surreal body horror, slapstick comedy and love for boobies to the Frankestein mythos and succeeds in creating one of the most bizarrely hilarious films of the era. James Lorinz, who Henenlotter “discovered” as an usher at New York’s Cinema 1,2,3, is perfect as the blue-collar nutjob genius, with his bleary eyes, Jersey accent and mumbling delivery. Mullens, who retired after knocking this one out of the park, is at turns sexy, funny, sweet and bloody terrifying. Her facial expressions and dedication to the schtick (stomping down the street, shoving giant pimps out of her way, shouting “Wanna date? Got any money? Wanna Party?”) make the film the gem it is. Admittedly, the ending feels a little slapped together and too ridiculous, even for this movie, but just like Frankenhooker herself, the sum of the parts is so much greater than the skanky bits it started with. Also keep an eye out for appearances by Louise Lasser, David Lipman, porn star Heather Hunter and the legendary horror host Zacherley.
The Blu-ray looks amazing, sounds perfect and features the original theatrical trailer, 4 featurettes (including the first appearance of Patty Mullen in 22 years) and a commentary track with Henenlotter and FX designer Gabe Bartalos, who created a dozen exploding hookers and a mess of mutant leftovers for this surprisingly gore-less piece of video art.
Check it the F out come November 8!
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