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ThisGuy Reviews Insidious HEY GUYS REMEMBER DARTH MAUL?!


ThisGuy!

Waddup? You guys and gals remember that movie Star wars? Oh I do… I am a fan of those films… Remember when in Phantom Menace there was Darth maul? Well I now know what happened to him when he got Pwndbiwan Kenobi and I will esplain.

Ok so Insidious is a “horror” film that may scare my 4 year old… but thaaats about it. The plot seems to be about a family who is being haunted by spirits/daemons but only after their kid falls while playing without parental supervision in a creepy attic (parents of the year right there) Kid is in a coma and mom keeps seeing not so creepy ghosts that are not so creepy. (yup redundant redundancy) Mom decides that they need to move cause apparently this would solve the issue. Yea. It didn’t (HOLY CRAP I USED A’ …ok it happened we will never speak of it again.)

Anyway back on topic. So Darth Maul decides he wants to break back into the people werld… (a little late Maul… That was long ago in a galaxy far far away… gawd) and he is going to use this kid as a gateway.

Ok. There have been many names for that between death and life… Here are my faves.

The Fade and The Viel. But yes there have been many o names for this lovely place between the two worlds. In this movie however it is called the Further… Really? Thats all you got? So the worst parents ever decide to fight said daemon cause hes holding the kid in the further… so they have to go…further into the further…sigh. ( I know… but it had to be done)  Oh cue the dads mom to tell him that he had the same issues when HE was young. Well I see that great parenting runs in this fam for sure.

Dad goes and fights Maul into the …further.  Ya know…. People will be like “well this guy that’s not darth maul hes got gold claws n stuff” my answer to that? afterlife bling! And I mean he lost his sweet light saber so whats yer point? Well ThisGuy he does not use the force!” Yea he does he tosses people all sorts of different ways and into stuff. “But ThisGuy hes got hoofs and goat legs” Umm YEA he did get cut in half! It may have been a quick patch job or perhaps the Maul loved the goats (wink)… we will never know.  It appears I may have wandered of topic a bit again…

Ok the sound in this movie is standard horror movie affair. Loud piano sounds at parts where you are to jump… ok if ThisGuy didnt jump I dont think you will either. The acting was not bad but most of dialogue fell short of making me feel anything for any of these horrible parents or their kids. But it was kinda cool to see Darth Maul again.

On the box it said the scariest movie since the Exorcist… which to me wasnt scary anyway… nor was this… take it as a how not to be a parent film with bonus sith! (now with goat legs!) or make a drinking game out of how many times the youngest kid starts crying… perhaps then you wont have to remember this mess of a film.

Stay excellent.

Disclaimer: Eye Crave Network takes no responsibility for the quality, content or opinions contained within this article. The opinions and misguided notions contained are those of the author and do not represent anyone but "THIS GUY"...



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The Sad Truth About GREEN LANTERN


Reports are coming in that Green Lantern will clock in with $52.7 Million as its box office gross for the weekend. While that’s pretty modest, the number begins to look pretty bleak when it’ll likely end up being the forth biggest superhero opening for the year (behind three Marvel films, as Captain America looks poised to do gangbusters.) Unfortunately the word-of-mouth for Lantern ranges from “boy that sure sucked” to “well, it wasn’t too bad,” which in today’s society is not necessarily good for a film that was a tough sell to begin with.

What’re my thoughts? Well as a die-hard film and Green Lantern fan, I think there are moments of the film that are absolutely good, sometimes great, but on the whole it’s disappointment city. The blame doesn’t fall on the cast; as for the most part they’re good (especially Ryan Reynolds and Peter Sarsgaard.) The biggest problem falls on the screenwriters, and all four had no idea what movie to make. I also fault Martin Campbell and Stuart Baird’s editing to a degree, as there are some very poor shot selections and editing in certain sequences in this thing. Also disappointing is James Newton Howard, whose soundtrack feels like it belongs in a crummy Saturday morning kids show.

But that’s Green Lantern’s biggest flaw and turn-off: it has no identity of its own. It certainly won’t sway those who are on the fence about going to the film. It wants to be a sci-fi epic, and when it is, the film is shining bright, and they were wise to use this in the marketing. I’ll even say the stuff where he’s being the Green Lantern is actually very good as well. The problems with the movie come in when you have to focus on what makes Hal a character. It’s too by the numbers, and is at war with itself whether it wants to be Iron Man or Spider-Man.

The bottom line is there’s no care that went into the handling of this property. True, Oa is represented very, very well and I applaud them for keeping most of the mythology in tact. The filmmakers seem interested in “just making a Green Lantern movie” rather than making something memorable. While Thor had a multitude of problems (some of which are the same as Lantern,) there was a genuine sense of care that Kenneth Branagh and his team brought to the property. It had an identity, and for better or worse, it connected with an audience who spread the word that it was worth seeing.

When I saw the picture, I was with a classmate of mine who is just as die-hard about the character and mythos as I am. Both of us had on our Green Lantern shirts, and were asked by a couple when we left how the film was, as they had opted not to see it on that night. We both informed them that while there are golden nuggets spread throughout; the sum of the movie is disappointing. They thanked us, and said they’d wait for Blu-ray. We wished them well with seeing Midnight in Paris.

Look, I’m not some fanboy who was dreading a Green Lantern picture and wanted it to fail. In fact, I’d hoped to direct or at least be a grip on one. My fear now is that the film won’t have any legs at all and we won’t get a sequel that would atone for this one’s sins. There’s a lot of potential in this mythology for a tremendous science fiction story, which sadly, Martin Campbell and his team chose not to give us. Instead we’re left with a paint-by-the-numbers movie that getting very mixed to negative reactions from it’s audience.

At the end of the day, the film likely won’t cross $300M, which is what I’m sure Warner Brothers was expecting. Instead, they’ll get what they put out: a mediocre return for a mediocre film that had all the potential in the world.



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ThisGuy Reviews Ninjas Vs Zombies – Also Where have I been?


ThisGuy!

ThisGuy has been MIA for a while but returns with his triumphant review of Ninjas vs Zombies, and remember:

Disclaimer: Eye Crave Network takes no responsibility for the quality, content or opinions contained within this article. The opinions and misguided notions contained are those of the author and do not represent anyone but "THIS GUY"...



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Interview with the Directors of 'Tangled'


A while back I had the opportunity to join a virtual roundtable with the director's of Tangled, Nathan Greno, Byron Howard. Below is the transcript from that interview.

Tangled



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Filmography 2010 - 270 Films in 6-Minutes


2010 was a good year for film. Some might even go as far as saying a great year for film. YouTube user genrocks has created a 6-minute montage summing up her movie experience from 2010. If you call yourself a film fan you should check out this video.

G-Whiz Productions



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